porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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