from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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