Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This is my gift to your gina
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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