I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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