so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
