Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
