Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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