She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
