I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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