Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
