What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
