if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize