Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Plan B is the new Plan A
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
