I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
they're like a gay fantastic four
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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