if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
