Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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