nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
