I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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