I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
You left your phone here
Wait...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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