you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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