I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
