That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
too bad you live with your parents still
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm like, not good at living.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
