I wanna bring you to show and tell
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
a search helicopter?!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
