she looked like the before picture.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
