OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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