i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
