I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My cat gives me a boner
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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