that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
