"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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