Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
