no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
