I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize