And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
ugly people sure do ruin things
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
