I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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