Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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