i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
