East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
