just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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