Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
