note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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