I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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