i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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