Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
