all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
