They should really pass out barf bags in church
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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