I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize