i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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