He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
