Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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