the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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