We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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