we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
