some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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