you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
