My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize