did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize