Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
