i think my tv is drunk
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
