i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
