He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
