Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize