I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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