i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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